12 haunted houses ensure that you cry like a child

Halloween is just around the corner, and you know what that means…? It’s time for spoopy things, unhealthy amounts of sugar, a LOT of black clothing, living out your childhood fantasies of dressing up as a slutty [insert literally anything here], and HAUNTED HOUSES. And oh boy, let me tell you, America has moved away from the simple yard haunts. Let’s take a look at 12 Haunted Houses Guaranteed to Make You Cry Like A Baby.

Freakling Bros. “Gates of Hell” – Las Vegas, NV

Starting on September 29th, the Freakling Brother’s “Gates of Hell” is one of three terrifying experiences at the Freaking Bros. experience in Las Vegas, Nevada. The only “r-rated” haunt in the US, travelers through the Gates of Hell must sign a waiver and learn a safe-word before entering the experience.

Freakling Bros. “Gates of Hell” – Las Vegas, NV

Gates of Hell simulates what it would be like to die and puts its victims in the position of what death could be like if they were in various scenarios. Without giving too much away, victims are put in several scenes where they are touched, forced to get down on their knees and are subjected to things that anyone would find shocking (cough).

http://freaklingbros.com/

McKamey Manor – Huntsville, Alabama


ADVERTISEMENT

Originally based in San Diego, CA, McKamey Manor was formed by Russ McKamey in his backyard. Quickly gaining a reputation for being the “most sadistic experience in America,” McKamey Manor was actually a free experience for the first few years (patrons were required to bring in a “mandatory” dog-food donation). McKamey is now based out of Huntsville, Alabama, and after a quick look at the site’s “movie” section, you might reconsider your decision.

McKamey Manor – Huntsville, Alabama

The “Extreme”” experience last’s “no less than 8 hours” and the patrons are “filmed through the entire duration of the experience.” Patrons will be given a safe word and asked to sign a waiver, but the safe word won’t help you… the whole point of the experience is to scare you so much that your body activates your fight or flight response… and then you just live in that… for 8 hours… safe words won’t do you any good here. Unless you are in mortal danger, the show always goes on. McKamey Manor is reservation only.

https://www.mckameymanor.com

The 13th Floor – Denver, CO

Have you ever noticed many hotels don’t have a 13th floor? They go from 12 right to 14. Ever wonder what may be on that missing floor? Well, wonder no more, but you may be sorry you found out. The 13th Floor is based in Denver, Colorado is renowned for their fantastic use of makeup and special effects.

http://www.13thfloorhauntedhouse.com/


ADVERTISEMENT

The 17th Door – Tustin, CA

Based around a singular character’s demons, the 17th Door is closer to a piece of theater than a haunted house. Called the 17th Door because of the 17 rooms it occupies, patrons will experience the sadistic mind of “Paula,” a young woman who is tormented by society. Furthering the Paula narrative this year, The 17th Door presents “Locked Up” for the 2017 season. Foregoing the school setting for a prison, the 17th Door looks to be another winner this year.

Home

Dark Harbor – Long Beach, CA

Taking place in and around the Queen Mary in Long Beach (which is actually haunted in real life), Dark Harbor is specific brand of horror that relies on real atmosphere. Featuring 7 mazes, Dark Harbor’s horror experiences play on the rich history of the ship the event takes place in. New for this year, the Feast maze brings alive a WWII galley chef that would add a touch of human to his dishes.

http://www.queenmary.com/events/dark-harbor/


ADVERTISEMENT

Terror Behind the Walls – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Prisons are scary, abandoned prisons are scarier, but abandoned prisons with haunted houses set up in them? Take about taking in the scenery! Terror Behind the Walls is a unique experience that takes place in the abandoned Eastern State Penitentiary of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Consisting of 6 different attractions, TBTW is consistently on top lists of haunted houses (like this one!).

https://www.easternstate.org/halloween/

Delusion – Los Angeles, CA

Deemed the “Original Interactive Horror Theater Company”, Delusion is just that: an interactive horror theater experience that just so happens to resemble a haunted house. The brainchild of Jon Braver, a hollywood special effects veteran, Delusion uses special effects, lighting, and other trickery to scare the pants off of you. Starting in 2011, Delusion is a narrative based experience that sees patrons traveling through and participating in a roughly 45 minute story that unfolds around you.

Delusion – Los Angeles, CA


ADVERTISEMENT

You will be asked to go retrieve items, to run, to hide, you will be touched, you will be scared in every sense of the word. But in the end, you will be happy you did it. Unfortunately Delusion was unable to secure a location for their 2017 run, but they are taking the year off to make their 2018 season extra special.

http://www.enterdelusion.com/

The 13th Gate – Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Notoriously known for it’s movie-set-quality mazes, the 13th Gate has been a mainstay in the haunt community, setting the bar in terms of quality. Next door to the 13th gate is Necropolis 13, a fully recreated 15,000 square foot catacomb where the art of voodoo is alive and well.

http://www.13thgate.com/

Netherworld – Norcross, Georgia

A halloween mainstay in Georgia since 1997, the Netherworld has be consistently 1-upping itself every year. Featuring a completely new theme every year, Netherworld always keeps their patrons on their toes. With entertainment industry professionals working on the event, some of which are now working on the Walking Dead, the bar for quality is set very high. Always consisting of original monsters and story lines, the Netherworld is a one-of-a-kind experience.


ADVERTISEMENT

http://Fearworld.com

This is Real – New York City, New York

A new experience for 2017, not much is known about This Is Real. Made by the same creators of the New York Nightmare, a halloween time classic in NYC, This is Real is touted as a mixture of a classic haunted house, escape room, hide and seek, and an interactive theater experience. Color me curious. This is Real opens on September 8th.

Bennett’s Curse – Baltimore, Maryland

Regarded as the best haunted house in Maryland, Bennett’s Curse is the “largest haunted attraction in the mid-atlantic”, boasting a 40,000 square foot facility. Known for it’s over-the-top presentation and the physical embodiment of fear, Bennett’s Curse is not an event to be missed.